No Foolies... Hungover Gourmet Returns to Print with Fall 2013 Issue!

I wanted to post this earlier this week but hesitated for fear that it would be laughed off as an April Fool's joke.

Despite what it said atop issue #11 – published back in 2009 – that will no longer be "The Final Issue" of The Hungover Gourmet: The Journal of Food, Drink, Travel and Fun!

We're currently accepting submissions for issue #12: The Return of The Hungover Gourmet and are looking for...

• capsule restaurant reviews for our 'For Those Who Are Fussy About Their Food' section (250-300 words max with 0-5 star rating);
• snack, beverage, fast food, frozen food reviews (250-300 words max);
• articles in the 1200-2500 word range (anything from cooking techniques and explorations of new gadgets to travel roundups, winery visits, food taste tests, etc.);
• recipes;
• photo essays;
• food/drink/travel-related zine, book, tv, movie reviews.

Deadline for submissions is September 1, 2013 with an anticipated street date of mid-November. That gives you the whole spring and summer to get your thinking caps on, get out and eat fun and interesting food, fire up the grills, grow veggies and share it all with the world. Or, at least, our small but enthusiastic readership.

All contributors receive a complimentary copy of the issue. In addition, we'll be holding a Hungover Gourmet Photo Contest with the winning photo gracing the cover! More details to come...

Have ideas? Want to contribute? Email me or touch base with me via our Facebook page or Twitter feed.

Foodie Bracket-tonomy

It has come to my attention that some people don't enjoy March Madness, college basketball, brackets, bracket-tology and all things associated with it.

If you are one of these Commies people there are other options for you to be a bracket-head.

For instance, Thrillist is running their Cereal Mascots Bracket featuring such tough first-round matchups as Lucky the Leprechaun vs Captain Crunch (which is a regional final if ever I heard one!) or Count Chocula vs The Trix Rabbit. Seriously? That's like making Duke and Louisville play each other in the first round this year!

Care as little about cereal mascots as you do college hoops? Prefer to wax nostalgic about long-forgotten foodstuffs? Well, you're in luck food nerd. SoGood blog is doing their annual food bracket and this year features a Discontinued Food & Beverages tourney.

While I'm happy to see Zima make the list (as any mention of Zima makes me chuckle and recall the note a friend left in our kitchen one year after too much of the crisp, hurl-inducing malt beverage) I found myself lamenting the absence of Pepsi Light (a 70s blend of Pepsi with lemon whose disappearance from the shelves turned me toward Mt. Dew) and Pepsi Holiday Spice.

Sorry, no, that's not a tear... I think I have something in my eye.

Don't like debating cereal mascots or discontinued food? How about TV Moms?

No Wonder Mrs. Norris Needs Malt: Vintage Beer Ads for the Ladies

I loves me some vintage advertising.

Whether it's star athletes promoting the latest developments in smokes or some deadly-looking chrome baby seat that your toddler can stand up in it makes you wonder why we even bother with all the helmets, knee pads, gluten-free foods, baby monitors and outlet covers we take part in these days.

"Hey, I turned out fine, how come YOU get a car seat?! If a laundry basket was good enough for your mother..."

Sorry. Got a little off-track there.

Beer ads are great, too, and just in time for St. Patrick's Day comes this collection of vintage beer ads featuring the ladies. And, trust me, as a work-at-home Dad with a five-year old I know exactly why Mrs. Norris needs malt.

The Cooking Freak Show Returns

Ah yes, TOP CHEF is over and MASTER CHEF has yet to begin so that loud bleeping sound can only mean one thing... HELL'S KITCHEN is back in town!

I usually skip the premiere of this annual culinary freak show but without any substantial college hoops to view and a forgotten Redbox rental languishing outside Royal Farms I decided to DVR last night's two-hour premiere.

As my wife – who spent more than a few years in and around a variety of kitchens – always says, the cheftestants on HK are far more representative of the people you'll actually find working in kitchens than the mannered, measured folks that pepper shows like TOP CHEF and CHOPPED.

Yes, America, these are the people that are really cooking your food.

Personally, I was glad to see my old stomping grounds of the Delaware Valley representing during the premiere, with Chef Zach standing out as the only member of the Blue Team who could keep his shit together.

Even if he did have to have a Stress Hurl in the hallway.

Will you watch HELL'S KITCHEN? Or have Gordo's rages over poorly-cooked scallops and burn risotto grown stale? Leave your answer in the comments section...

Fishy, Fishay!

I know you've all been breathlessly awaiting my take on the new, limited time only Fish McBites from McDonald's.

Big Game Recipe Roundup Part 1

I'd call this post "Super Bowl Recipe Roundup Part 1" but after a brief part of my marketing career spent dealing with professional sports teams and their governing league offices I think I'll steer clear and stick with nebulous things like "Big Game" and "American Professional Football Playoff Championship"! (Unlike the guy who tried to trademark Harbowl.)

Few American holidays bring out crazy, simple, dopey and (occasionally) delicious recipes like our American Professional Football Playoff Championship. And don't kid yourself. This weekend's Big Game Between Competing Teams is a holiday.

Even my five-year-old has caught a case of Ravens Fever, though I believe we can cure the ailment with Deer Antler Spray and hologram patches if necessary. (Kidding! Kidding! I kid because I love!)

She was even quite concerned about my ability to make nachos "like Mommy makes". I assured her that I was very capable of placing a pie plate of chips and cheese under a broiler and insisted this was "not my first rodeo", to put it mildly.

Some of my favorite of these easy appetizer recipes come from the test kitchens at various snack conglomerates that are probably owned by some multi-national arms manufacturer.

Take Gridiron Party Pizzas, for instance. Who wouldn't be stoked if their buddy called up and said, "Hey friend! Come on over for The Championship Battle Between The Teams Coached By Those Two Brothers! I'm whipping up some Gridiron Party Pizzas!"

Gridiron Party Pizzas sound awesome. And filling. I'm picturing a giant, rectangular dough gridiron with sausage end zones spelling out "Ravens" and "Niners", mozzarella yardage markers and a pepperoni mid-field.

If my friend told me they were making Gridiron Party Pizzas I would skip breakfast and lunch.

And then I'd get to their house, find a tray of crackers topped with a dab of tomato sauce, a smattering of cheese and a wee pepperoni slice. Then I'd kick them in the nuts and go to Taco Bell where I'd wait patiently for the launch of Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos.

Okay, so maybe the Gridiron Party Pizzas aren't going to fill you up but I bet some delicious pulled pork sliders would. (And when did "sliders" become the all-encompassing term for "mini-sandwich"? It's like anything that has melted cheese, onions and peppers being labeled a "Philly". Stop it.)

I'm pretty comfortable with my homemade pulled pork recipe, which I usually bust out every summer for a gathering with pals. But there's a lot of time, effort and TLC involved in the process, not to mention the cost of 20-some pounds of boneless pork shoulder, vats of pig dip and bowls of rub. In other words, I'm not making it for the Super Bowl Televised Commercial Showacse to Decide Playoff Winner.

But that doesn't mean I'm above scouring the web for new twists and easier preparations than the all-day process I'm used to. Which was why Southern Living's Easy Barbecue Sliders caught my eye when it popped up in my mailbox.

Easy? Great. Barbecue? Awesome. Sliders? Sigh.

After checking out the recipe I hope nobody actually got paid to develop it for the magazine. The aforementioned Gridiron Party Pizzas are more difficult to whip up and in terms of effort these sliders rank just above opening a pre-fab tub of French Onion Dip. There are no reviews at the site because I think most people would be embarrassed to admit they had dumped some packed BBQ on a bun.

More recipes tomorrow!

There'd Be No THG Without Her

I posted early today at my other blog about how my Mom, who passed away last night at age 87, unwittingly started me on the path to becoming a full-blown trashy movie lover who would go on to publish zines, contribute articles and reviews to far-flung publications (some she thankfully never knew about!), and even appear in a trailer compilation introducing something called SNUFF.

But in the tradition of equal time I must admit that there would probably be no Hungover Gourmet without my Mom's culinary guidance.

I'm sure I've told the story here before, but it was my Dad who is really responsible for me learning to cook. His half-baked attempts at feeding the two of us during an illness to my Mom resulted in me begging her to let me learn the ropes in the kitchen until she acquiesced. Sorta.

Mom never used cookbooks and owned only one that I ever saw – Betty Crocker's Good and Easy Cookbook: 1000 time-saving, taste-tempting recipes and hints for busy homemakers – and it was used strictly for storing recipes clipped from the newspaper. None of which she ever referenced.

Measuring cups and spoons were also a rare site, relying instead on years of practice to know just how much milk, butter, salt or pepper to add. But, miraculously, a pot of chili made in November 1976 tasted exactly like a pot of chili made in March 1987.

I've never been able to replicate her free-form ways with a dish but I'm far fonder of spices than she ever was. And while I still need a recipe to kickstart 90% of my dishes, any time I get lucky and make something that takes me back to family gatherings or just a weeknight dinner brings a smile to my face.

In what can only be thought of as an ironic food karma moment I spent yesterday roasting a chicken for dinner. I'm always amazed by the people in commercials who seem intimidated by the concept of making such a dish as it was one of the first things Mom ever taught me how to cook. A couple hours later I got the call that she had finally lost her battle and had slipped peacefully away.

Somewhere she was smiling, but I was definitely getting a raised eyebrow or two for that bed of onions I placed under the chicken.