FOOD COURT: Where's the Beef?! Brawl Breaks Out When Golden Corral Buffet Runs Out of Steak

 

Stay classy, Bensalem! 

Patrons at a Pennsylvania Golden Corral turned the eatery into a scene from the wild, wild west on Friday night after the buffet ran out of steak.

According to a customer who spoke to local TV, two parties became involved in the fracas when one party took too long in the buffet line and another party cut in front of them and got the last of the delicious Golden Corral buffet line steak.

Mayhem ensued and video from the melee shows patrons throwing punches – and furniture.

Police reported that most of the brawling gourmands were gone by the time they arrived and, luckily, no serious injuries were sustained. – Dan Taylor

FOOD COURT: PA Man Sent Over the Edge Due to Crushed Chips

According to police reports, a Pennsylvania man was "having a bad day" when he was sent over the edge by an indifferent cashier who bagged canned goods atop his chips.

A flip remark from the cashier...

set Bower off and he allegedly put his hand around the cashier’s throat and pushed him against a cash register, all while shouting, “You idiot!”

I would advise against this guy ever shopping at ALDI where certain cashiers fling your yogurts, canned goods, meat, paper products, pepperoni snacks, block cheese and more into the cart like they're trying to establish some sort of land speed record or just "tryna clock out".

Read about the whole grisly affair at Huffington Post or the York Dispatch. – Dan Taylor (Thanks to Dave Wright for the tip!)

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of The Hungover Gourmet and points to things like this when asked why he prefers to bag his own groceries.

FOOD COURT: Two Arrested for Taking Selfies, Eating Fast Food on Boat

Police in Connecticut arrested a pair of narcissistic fast foodies who broke onto a boat at a Norwalk marina, took selfies, ate crummy food and went through the belongings of the family that was sleeping on the boat.

After being scared off by the owner – and dropping a receipt with a culprit's name on it! – the pair were arrested and charged with a multitude of crimes.

Unfortunately, taking selfies and stupidity are not chargeable offenses.

Have a hot tip for a food related crime that belongs in Food Court? Drop me a line!

FOOD COURT: Man Gives Thanks He "Found" Those Two Diamond Rings

Most years I spend Thanksgiving Day with my wife and daughter. We watch football and the parade, cook way too much food, laugh, eat, nap, eat a little more. It's a good time had by all but I occasionally find myself thinking "maybe we should invite some people next year...", though that's usually after a few beers and a glass or five of wine.

And then I read a story like this and I go back to my old standby of mistrusting my fellow man.

Well done, Delaware ring thief.

I am, however, thinking about adding potato salad to next year's menu. Definitely not enough starch on ours.

FOOD COURT: Mac & Cheese with a Side of Assault & Battery

It has never crossed my mind to raid boxes of mac & cheese for additional cheese packets.

I'm usually content with whatever Kraft (or insert manufacturer name here) have included in the box, though I have been known to doctor my m&c with a little shredded cheese or even some sour cream.

Maybe it's for the best that I've been content with what I'm given. Perhaps that's why I've never been repeatedly punched in the face and head for "using all of the cheese packets" like Brian Rossi.

Seems Brian's twenty-year-old son Alex desired some of the gooey golden goodness only to discover that Brian had bogarted all the processed cheese dust leaving behind open boxes containing nothing but pasta.

Naturally, Alex assaulted Brian and ended up in county jail where he was being held on $1097 bond or 1410 boxes of mac & cheese.

FOOD COURT: Worst Episode of 'Oz' Ever

60 inmates at New York's infamous Riker's Island Prison entered into a full-scale riot – complete with boiling water assaults and mop stick duels! – when one group refused to let their rivals make grilled cheese.

The confrontation ended after 45-minutes when both sides decided to stop.

A prison spokesperson said: "There is every indication that this situation could have been handled differently and that this incident went on for far too long."

FOOD COURT: Good News, Bad News Edition

The good news is I got a designated driver.

The bad news is he's 12.

FOOD COURT Roundup!

There's a lot of food-related crime going on boys and girls. Keep your eyes and ears open and, hey, let's be careful out there.

Couple's Fast Food Order Mistakenly Includes Armed Gunman
I've heard of order mix-ups before, but this is ridiculous!

Fast Food Robbers Continue to Elude Police, Have Awful Taste in Food
The suspects are described as "lean" individuals. Apparently they're just robbing the local KFC, Golden Arches and Bojangles, not eating at them. I bet if they started robbing donut shops the cops wouldn't be so "baffled".

Cops Shoot Man Smashing Windows at Fast Food Joint
Today's lesson? Never bring a 3' metal bar to a gunfight.

Toddler Division! 5-Year-Old Stabs Three in Juice Box "Incident"
See? This is why I never run out of juice boxes. Kids are crazy for those things!

Neighboring Fast Food Joints Robbed Within Minutes of Each Other
5'10" man robs McDonald's. 6' man robs Wendy's on same block minutes later. Police say it's too early in investigation to determine if the robberies are related.

FOOD COURT: Yogurt Shop Attack!

Note to self: If the owner of a yogurt shop tries to lure me to a storage room check his hands for duct tape and adult diapers.

FOOD COURT: Even Green Tea Stands Aren't Safe!

Here's a report from Massachusetts about what appears to be a green tea stand being shut down by beach police because they didn't have a permit.

Double Shot of FOOD COURT: Drunk Passengers and Burger Suits

A businessman traveling from Phoenix, Arizona to the UK became enraged after flight attendants refused to serve him more alcohol. At one point, the US citizen allegedly sat in his seat with a broken bottle, claiming that he would "stab the pilots if they want".

Cult burger chain In-N-Out is suing an Aberdeen, MD burger joint, alleging that the logo and menu are too similar. The Associated Press reports that In-N-Out is suing Grab-N-Go Burger and "filed an infringement lawsuit this week in U.S. District Court in Baltimore... and is seeking a permanent injunction and unspecified damages." Guess I better get over there soon!

FOOD COURT: Cow Attacks Woman... THG Scratches Steak Off Shopping List

An Iowa woman died from injuries suffered after she was attacked by a cow. Family members say the cow became aggressive and attacked the 60-year-old woman who was protecting her 1-year-old grandson. A professor of veterinary medicine at a local university said that the cow may have become aggressive due to the presence of newborn calves in the pasture.

Article Roundup: I Hate Winter Edition

About a week ago my wife and I started talking about the potential storm that was due to pass over our area on the coming Tuesday and Wednesday. In other words, yesterday.

Despite an ever-wavering forecast that seemed to call for a little snow, rain, freezing rain, sleet, chubby rain, a lotta snow and – in some forecasts – nothing, we were both pretty convinced the Baltimore area wouldn't be lucky enough to get another free pass from Mother Nature.

So it came as little surprise that yesterday morning's slushy inch had turned into a thoroughly inconvenient three inches and that the evening's forecast was shaping up to be a doozy. With my better half stranded at work, the sitter unable to get here and a three-year-old who decided that hanging on the arm of Daddy's chair was the best place to be... all day... what should have been a busy work day turned into a day of reading articles and posting snarky links on our Twitter feed and Facebook page.

In case you missed them (and, shame on you if you did), here's a roundup:

• Next time you're in the mood for seven hamburgers from the Golden Arches just go for the Cheesecake Factory's Grilled Shrimp and Bacon Club instead. Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you The Worst Sandwiches in America.
• Everybody thinks "cheesesteak" when anyone mentions Philadelphia's culinary contributions, but any good DelVal resident knows that the really best sandwich in the City of Brotherly Lunch is the roast pork. Reliable sources tell me DiNic's in Reading Terminal Market is the way to go and Serious Eats' A Sandwich a Day seems to back up that claim.
• Every fast food joint has some kind of "dollar" or "value" menu featuring cheap eats. What I didn't realize was that so many people had strong opinions about what were the best things on those menus.
• If the term "food porn" gets tossed around long enough somebody is going to make, well, a food porn. This flick has been the subject of some controversy after the owner of the food truck used as a set claimed ignorance that a porn was being shot in his kitchen and food prep area. Needless to say the controversy has only brought more attention to the flick and you can get in on the fun with an essay contest.
• Slow food movement? Childhood obesity in the news? Bad weather? Apparently none of these things can slow down McDonald's, which posted 5% worldwide growth in the fourth quarter.
• I'm all for Wal-Mart introducing healthier foods, selling fresh produce, etc. But when I go to Wal-Mart and shop, that's not what I see in people's grocery carts. I see crap and I fear this quote can be applied to the vast majority of Wal-Mart grocery shoppers: "Honestly, I don't know what a trans fat is, but everybody says that's why I'm so fat... Why do they sell it to me if it's bad for me? Aren't foods supposed to be checked or something?"
• The recent controversy over the ingredients in Taco Bell food has stirred up an interesting debate. Namely, what are we expecting from food that costs 89 cents? ABC News poses the question, "Do We Ask Too Much from Fast Food?" ... and gets some interesting answers.
• We all know about the "secret" lingo used to order the variety of offerings at In-N-Out. But did you know you can walk into some McDonald's outlets and order a McGangbang or Sex in a Sandwich? The Guelph Mercury looks at how social media is helping create extreme menu item crazes.
• What's worse than being attacked by a gang of adolescents? When the little bastards pour your bottle of vodka over your head.
• A thief at a Philadelphia-area Whole Foods must have thought the gentle hippies who work there wouldn't notice him pocketing $200 worth of meat. Doesn't he know they probably all ran cross country in high school?

Got a tip for The Hungover Gourmet? Drop us a line via editor@hungovergourmet.com or contact us via our Twitter feed or Facebook page. Till next time, stay warm and cheers!

FOOD COURT: French Fry Argument Leads to Shooting

Haven't had one of these in awhile... welcome back insane foodies!

According to police reports in Philadelphia, two men were sitting in a car early Monday morning, eating fast food when an argument erupted over french fries. The argument became heated, as most arguments about french fries do, and resulted in one of the debaters pulling a gun and shooting the other.

The victim was taken to a local hospital while the shooter, who I think we can all agree won the argument, drove off.

I'm assuming to satisfy his craving for more, saltier or better fries.

FOOD COURT: Suit Gives New Meaning to Arti-CHOKE

A Miami doctor is suing a restaurant for failing to explain to him the proper way to eat an artichoke. A native Cuban, doctor Arturo Carvajal ordered a grilled artichoke special and proceeded to eat the whole leaf, including the tough, brittle and sharp outer leaves. This led to abdominal discomfort and, according to the suit, "loss of capacity for the enjoyment of life".

FOOD COURT: Have it Your F*%king Way!

I don't usually read the messages on my receipts after I go to the store or fast food joint. And when I do it's always some lame survey or coupon.

But after reading this story about Burger King employees being fired for printing "Fuck You!" not once but twice on a receipt, I think I'll pay closer attention.

The ballsiest part? It was an order to be eaten in!

FOOD COURT: Councilman Calls Cops on Cupcake Sale

I know this guy thinks he was just following the letter of the law and making America safe for everyone, but what a way to crush a kid's entrepreneurial spirit.

FOOD COURT: Sebastian Bach Bites Hand That Gets Him Liquored Up

I've always been sorta bemused by Sebastian Bach. Though I never really listened to Skid Row – they always seemed like a teen-metal act to me – he was always great on talk shows and his guest appearances on The Gilmore Girls tickled me to no end. But he always struck me as the kinda guy who was always on the verge of doing something crazy... like biting the hand of a wine bar owner.

FOOD COURT: Toad-Licking Chef Caught on Camera

Of all the things I've suspected to be going on in restaurant kitchens, toad licking was not one of them. Now I find out that the chef at an Iowa restaurant was caught on tape kissing and licking toads, an act that cost the restaurant the seemingly-arbitrary sum of $335.

After reading that it was the chef's brother who posted the video on YouTube, I once again thank my lucky stars that Flip cameras, blogs, YouTube and digital cameras were not big from 1984-1995.

FOOD COURT: Frozen Chefs, Fast Food Freakouts and Fake Seizures

It's been quite the line-up of law and order-related culinary mischief this week. Must have had something to do with my recent stint on jury duty...

First up, the body of missing French chef Jean-Francois Poinard was discovered in the freezer of an apartment he had shared with his girlfriend. The 71-year-old chef had been missing for two years and was once considered a top chef in Lyon.

Next it's a fast food freakout as a woman smashes the drive-thru window of a McDonald's in Ohio after being told she couldn't have McNuggets since it was breakfast time. I have long held the belief that the Golden Arches' inflexible breakfast hours work to their detriment, though I wouldn't take my case quite this far!

And in a case of life sorta imitating art, a Baltimore man was charged with faking seizures in order to avoid paying his restaurant tabs. This was no quickly thought out scheme to avoid a bill. 43-year-old Andrew Palmer had done this a staggering 80+ times with more than 30 convictions for "eating in a public place without paying" among other things. Oh, the "art" I was referring to was the film CHOKE in which a man (played by Sam Rockwell) fakes seizures in restaurants to scam money from the people who save his life.

(Thanks to SMILE HON editor WP Tandy and MC Scotty P for the tips.)