Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Your Grocery Store is a Sugary Mine Field of Processed Junk

My normal grocery shopping routine has changed over the last year or so.

I used to shop almost exclusively at Giant with the occasional stop at ShopRite or – if I felt like braving the parking lot (and craved their macaroni salad) – Wegmans.

But the opening of an ALDI about a mile away has drastically changed how I shop. While I was skeptical at first and had a sorely misplaced view of what ALDI offered, I am a full-fledge ALDI-vangelist at this point. The limited selection and lower price points mean I am in and out in about 20 minutes and I've cut my weekly grocery bill by 30% to 50%.

Oh sure, there are still things I can't get at my beloved ALDI but if I make one mid-week trip to Giant that about covers my needs.

Which means I'm out of practice at least as far as wildly over the top limited edition seasonal items go. So, when I had to stop at the Mega-Wal-Mart up the road for turkey wings the other day, I was taken aback by what a gauntlet of sugar-frosted monstrosities the aisles held.

Luckily, my daughter never liked sugary cereals, doesn't drink soda and is still pretty good about keeping her snacking at bay despite closing in on 6' before she hits her teenage years so if any of this stuff DOES appear in our pantry it's because I'm such a mark.

Here are just a few of the processed "treats" that await you this holiday season...

The Elf on the Shelf might come in handy to get your kids to behave after a couple bowls of the "Official Cereal of the North pole".

This cereal doesn't even try to hide behind a corporate shill or some kind of health benefit.

The post-breakfast crash should be over just in time for a healthy lunch. Or you can just give them this.

I think these were some kind of tie-in with FROZEN 2 but in looking at the package now I'm not so sure. Maybe they were just trying to capitalize on the flick without actually coughing up the csah to slap a talking snowman on the box. Either way the filling looks like toothpaste.

See any crazy limited edition treats (?) during your shopping trips? Send them to with your name and where you saw it and we'll share with our readers. – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of The Hungover Gourmet. He can resist sugary treats with the best of them but he is really jonesing for a McRib right about now.

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