Article Roundup: I Hate Winter Edition

About a week ago my wife and I started talking about the potential storm that was due to pass over our area on the coming Tuesday and Wednesday. In other words, yesterday.

Despite an ever-wavering forecast that seemed to call for a little snow, rain, freezing rain, sleet, chubby rain, a lotta snow and – in some forecasts – nothing, we were both pretty convinced the Baltimore area wouldn't be lucky enough to get another free pass from Mother Nature.

So it came as little surprise that yesterday morning's slushy inch had turned into a thoroughly inconvenient three inches and that the evening's forecast was shaping up to be a doozy. With my better half stranded at work, the sitter unable to get here and a three-year-old who decided that hanging on the arm of Daddy's chair was the best place to be... all day... what should have been a busy work day turned into a day of reading articles and posting snarky links on our Twitter feed and Facebook page.

In case you missed them (and, shame on you if you did), here's a roundup:

• Next time you're in the mood for seven hamburgers from the Golden Arches just go for the Cheesecake Factory's Grilled Shrimp and Bacon Club instead. Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you The Worst Sandwiches in America.
• Everybody thinks "cheesesteak" when anyone mentions Philadelphia's culinary contributions, but any good DelVal resident knows that the really best sandwich in the City of Brotherly Lunch is the roast pork. Reliable sources tell me DiNic's in Reading Terminal Market is the way to go and Serious Eats' A Sandwich a Day seems to back up that claim.
• Every fast food joint has some kind of "dollar" or "value" menu featuring cheap eats. What I didn't realize was that so many people had strong opinions about what were the best things on those menus.
• If the term "food porn" gets tossed around long enough somebody is going to make, well, a food porn. This flick has been the subject of some controversy after the owner of the food truck used as a set claimed ignorance that a porn was being shot in his kitchen and food prep area. Needless to say the controversy has only brought more attention to the flick and you can get in on the fun with an essay contest.
• Slow food movement? Childhood obesity in the news? Bad weather? Apparently none of these things can slow down McDonald's, which posted 5% worldwide growth in the fourth quarter.
• I'm all for Wal-Mart introducing healthier foods, selling fresh produce, etc. But when I go to Wal-Mart and shop, that's not what I see in people's grocery carts. I see crap and I fear this quote can be applied to the vast majority of Wal-Mart grocery shoppers: "Honestly, I don't know what a trans fat is, but everybody says that's why I'm so fat... Why do they sell it to me if it's bad for me? Aren't foods supposed to be checked or something?"
• The recent controversy over the ingredients in Taco Bell food has stirred up an interesting debate. Namely, what are we expecting from food that costs 89 cents? ABC News poses the question, "Do We Ask Too Much from Fast Food?" ... and gets some interesting answers.
• We all know about the "secret" lingo used to order the variety of offerings at In-N-Out. But did you know you can walk into some McDonald's outlets and order a McGangbang or Sex in a Sandwich? The Guelph Mercury looks at how social media is helping create extreme menu item crazes.
• What's worse than being attacked by a gang of adolescents? When the little bastards pour your bottle of vodka over your head.
• A thief at a Philadelphia-area Whole Foods must have thought the gentle hippies who work there wouldn't notice him pocketing $200 worth of meat. Doesn't he know they probably all ran cross country in high school?

Got a tip for The Hungover Gourmet? Drop us a line via editor@hungovergourmet.com or contact us via our Twitter feed or Facebook page. Till next time, stay warm and cheers!

Guy Fieri as Wolverine?!

You know what would be off-the-hook, out of bounds, bananas and money?

If Chef Guy Fieri – or, just "Guy!" as he signs his recipes in the Guy's Game Day Playbook recipe pamphlet available at your local grocery store – was to suit up and play Wolverine in an upcoming X-Men flick.

Hell, Hugh Jackman has to get bored with the role eventually and maybe Guy! was thinking the same thing when he posed for this photo from the aforementioned cookbook.

SNACKT!

Worst/Best Sandwiches in America

Who doesn't love a good list? Oh sure, I was ticked that THG was left off last week's list of the 50 Most Influential People in the Food World but I feel like they were pulling a Tom Jackson on me and left me off the list just to motivate me.

But what I really love are these lists of best (and worst) fill-in-the-blank. And it has been a banner week for that kind of news.

First up was the list of the Best New Sandwiches in America. What I like about this list is that it focuses on "New" Sandwiches. Hey, don't get me wrong... I'm a Philly-area guy through and through and I'll go to the mat with anybody over the merits of the venerable hoagie, esteemed cheesesteak and the underappreciated roast pork, but we know how good those are. What we need is the 411 on what's new and exciting in sandwichland. (Do people still say "we need the 411"? If I have to ask, probably not.)

For my money, the Cheesy Mac & Rib, Pibil Torta and Brussels Sprouts Sandwich all look to be – in the words of my nemesis Guy Fieri – "out of bounds" and most definitely "bananas".

But if you're going to have a list of Best Sandwiches there's gotta be some Worst Sandwiches lingering somewhere. It's the gut-wrenching yang to the previous list's delicious yin. Which I think is what's on the Brussels Sprouts Sandwich.

And I think we know where the aforementioned somewhere is – chains. Men's Health weighed in (no pun intended) with their bevy of annual bests and worsts, and Cheesecake Factory (no surprise) takes the "prize" for the Grilled Shrimp and Bacon Club. Check out this tale of the tape:

Cheesecake Factory Grilled Shrimp & Bacon Club
1,890 calories
24 g saturated fat
2,964 mg sodium
125 g carbohydrates

In the old days this sandwich would have been a challenge to THG. Now, cooler heads prevail. Though I am still interested in that damn Stuffed Steakhouse Burger from Burger King... even if it does look like a slab of hot fruitcake.

Boh Back on Tap in B'more!

One of the things that has always perplexed me since I moved to the Baltimore area has been the inability to get Natty Boh on tap. Though life may be "too short for cheap beer" (as the saying goes), there are times when an ice cold cheap beer really hits the spot.

In fact, when a special occasion rolls around and my gals want to treat me to lunch my first choice is usually Mama's on the Half Shell for some Steamed Shrimp, Clams Casino, an Oyster Po' Boy and some icy pints of PBR draft. But, I always wonder, what if they had Natty Boh on tap?

Well wonder no more THG! Baltimore Magazine reports that for the first time in 15 years the iconic Baltimore beer (though no longer brewed here) will be offered on draft thanks to demand from bar owners and beer lovers.

No word on what bars will be partaking of this opportunity but a six-pack (or so) of area watering holes will be having National Bohemian Tapping of The Keg parties over the course of the next few weeks.

Bring Back Mayor McCheese!

Have you lost faith in today's political parties? Turned off by the antagonistic discourse in politics, the media and with your fellow countrymen? Want to return to a kinder, gentler time?

You're not alone! Despite no political scandal or turmoil, Mayor McCheese was unceremoniously impeached in the 1980s and, except for a few video appearances, disappeared from advertising for the Golden Arches.

What would you rather see in your ubiquitous fast food advertising – table-smacking slackers or the Mayor and the rest of the McDonaldland gang?

Luckily, a grassroots campaign is underway to let McDonald's know how important the Mayor and other McDonaldland characters were.

Check out the Bring Back Mayor McCheese website and sign the petition. Then drop on over to the Facebook page and join fellow McDonaldland lovers in some tasty discourse.

Get Awful Ballpark Beer Faster!

How many times have you stood in an endless concession line at a ballpark or stadium wondering how you could get that awful, watered-down, over-priced beer into your stomach faster?

Wonder no more my friend! Check out this new, magnet-based (f**king magnets – how do they work?!), bottoms-up beer concession system...



With a name like "Bottoms Up" they should really look into having Tinto Brass direct their commercials.

Update (1/25/11): The Wells Fargo Center (formerly the more appropriately named FU Center) in Philly becomes the first Delaware Valley arena to try out the Bottoms Up system when it debuts before tonight's Flyers/Habs game. (Thanks to Cheesewit for the tip!)

Whiskey. In. A. Can.

Yep, you read that right. Panama-based Scottish Spirits is marketing a 12-oz can of Scotch containing eight shots. 44-year-old me is very glad this didn't exist 20 years ago. If it did 44-year-old me might not exist.

Extreme Ritz! Guy Fieri Style!

While walking through the grocery store today I found myself being verbally accosted by none other than Guy Fieri.

I couldn't understand exactly what he was saying but it was impossible to mistake that voice and the way every sentence is punctuated by an exclamation point or the way words like "bananas" and "money" drip from his goateed lips like he's on the set of a low-budget, foodie-centric porno.

"Oh crap," I thought. "This is it. All my bad-mouthing has come back to haunt me and now I'm going to have to fight Guy Fieri in the snack aisle of the grocery store. In front of my daughter. Oh well, I hope he didn't bring Bobby Flay with him."

As I turned, eyeing my basket for the best weapon – Rapunzel snacks? broccolini? – I was relieved (sorta) to discover that there wasn't going to be a supermarket rumble. It was just an extreme to the max Guy Fieri motion-activated shelf display exhorting me to grab some Kraft snack crackers and get extreme this post-season. To the max.

Naturally, the snack booklet accompanying the shelf display features a Guy-inspired take on Cheese Steaks and Sliders called, what else?, Ritz Cheese Steak Sliders. See scans below and click for larger, extreme details...

FOOD COURT: French Fry Argument Leads to Shooting

Haven't had one of these in awhile... welcome back insane foodies!

According to police reports in Philadelphia, two men were sitting in a car early Monday morning, eating fast food when an argument erupted over french fries. The argument became heated, as most arguments about french fries do, and resulted in one of the debaters pulling a gun and shooting the other.

The victim was taken to a local hospital while the shooter, who I think we can all agree won the argument, drove off.

I'm assuming to satisfy his craving for more, saltier or better fries.

You Shouldn't Have. No, Really, You Shouldn't Have...

White Castle taking reservations for Valentine's Day.

Daily Show on San Fran Happy Meal Ban

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
San Francisco's Happy Meal Ban
www.thedailyshow.com
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Wild Card Weekend!

You can have Super Bowl Sunday. Wild Card Weekend might be my favorite sports weekend of the year... four NFL playoff games (including both my Eagles and Ravens), random college hoops and NHL matchups, plus a bonus college football "national championship" game on Monday night. Doesn't get much better than that!

After getting in a quick run I'll be heading to the kitchen to whip up some brats, ribs and chicken for the festivities.

What's on your weekend menu?

Top Chef All-Stars: Down to the Dirty Dozen

I have to admit.

After Jen got the boot I was beginning to wonder if my handicapping skills were not as sharp as I thought. I firmly believed that the seemingly-talented, Eric Ripert-mentored chef from my homeland would be around at least until the last-third of the competition and, maybe, just maybe would make it to the Top Chef All-Stars finale.

But after that rocky patch it looks like the stars have realigned and all is right with the reality cooking show universe. Elia, Stephen and Dale L (all "Longshots" according to Danny the Polack) have been sent packing and even Spike and Casey (both of whom I thought could compete for the title or mail in a horrific culinary monstrosity) got the boot for committing a couple cardinal Top Chef sins: letting Angelo fiddle with a dish; and, working the front of the house while somebody else preps your chicken feet, respectively.

Seriously, I am notorious in my household for pretty much eating any and every part of the chicken. (Don't get me started. It's definitely a holdover from my childhood when my Dad would be given the luxury of picking over the chicken carcass after Mom had gotten all she could out of it.) And, well, I wouldn't have eaten those chicken feet. Even on a dare.

Okay, maybe on a dare, but that's the only way!

And so we head into the middle rounds with most of my favorites left, though if I was re-seeding at this point I might knock Fabio down into the middle of the pack (the turtle walking kinda weirded me out) and bump up either Tre or Dale L. I still feel like the former is too flippant while the latter is too pig-headed, but hey, I've been accused of being both myself.

So, who do you like on Top Chef All-Stars now that the first third of the cheftestants have been weeded out?

Hot 'N Juicy Opens in DC

Vegas crawfish joint Hot 'N Juicy recently opened its doors in Washington, DC. I won't hold it against them that they were on that unwatchable Man v. Food show.

She Gets My Vote!

And you thought there wasn't a highlight! Great moment during the recent RNC Chairman Debate when Ann Wagner was asked what her favorite book was and well... just watch and see...



She definitely gets my vote. My Kitchen Table is my favorite bar, too.