Friday, July 04, 2008

Live Blogging the Nathan's Hot Dog Contest

12:00 PM – Trying to juggle packing for our trip, a one-year-old, putting together her high chair and flipping between the hot dog contest and Wimbledon.

12:03 PM – One of the announcers just called Joey Chestnut's win last year "a great moment in American sports." No hyperbole here!

12:06 PM – There's now a competitive eating video game? Any kid who isn't already obese now officially has no hope.

12:09 PM – A, um, voluptuous woman just walked by with a t-shirt on that reads "Save Energy, Turn ME On". Nice.

12:11 PM – Joey Chestnut has just been referred to as "the Tiger Woods of competitive eating." I'm all for a good eating contest but doesn't that sorta cheapen Woods and make a joke of this at the same time?

12:17 PM – Announcers now comparing Nathan's rule changes to rule changes in major league baseball, basketball and MMA.

12:22 PM – Kobyashi just described as a cross between Carrot Top and Amy Winehouse.

12:25 PM – List of "Great Upsets" and their rematches includes Clubber Lang against Rocky Balboa. Inspired.

12:29 PM – Contestants being introduced, including Crazy Legs Conti, a local fan favorite.

12:32 PM – Badlands Booker can't stay away from the competitive eating game and Juliet Lee from Germantown, Maryland (who looks a bit like Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas) is also going to give it a shot.

12:36 PM – Six time champ Kobyashi is back to go head-to-head with reigning champ Joey Chestnut! Stick around, the battle is about to begin...

12:41 PM – Who will it be? I'm putting my money on Chestnut.

12:42 PM – "They attack those dogs like Lindsay Lohan attacks a mini-bar."

12:44 PM – Three minutes in and Chestnut is three dogs ahead of Kobyashi, five ahead of Eater X. I may have to rethink my hot dogs and scrambled eggs for lunch.

12:47 PM – Two dog lead for Chestnut at the halfway point.

12:48 PM – Three minutes to go and this is strictly a Chestnut vs Kobyashi contest.

12:50 PM – One minute to go and Carrot Top Winehouse is in the lead. Can Chestnut ketchup? Get it?!

12:52 PM – It's only fitting that this battle royal end in a tie... will we go to an eat off?

12:54 PM – Two men. Five dogs. One title.

12:54 PM – I despise ESPN. They just showed scores of the men's semis from Wimbledon during the eat off. Bastards.

12:55 PM – USA! USA! USA! "Like Tiger Woods just a couple of weeks ago..." Yes, Joey Chestnut prevails in a Dog Off keeping The Mustard Belt where it belongs for at least one more year!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the play-by-play! I am stuck at work and was very interested in seeing who won.

Anonymous said...

I'm stuck at work too, I appreciate the PBP. These are the greatest announcers in sports.

John said...

Fitting that the leading American win today. Still not something I would ever try though!

Carrot Top/Amy Winehouse - funny! Kobayashi wasn't also strung out on crack I hope :)

fidge dextro said...

Although it's ridiculous, this contest takes ESPN back to its roots when they were lucky to grab a tiddlywinks competition. I actually got to watch this at work (BBQ restaurant with a bunch of televisions in the dining room), and I was hoping for some serious "reverse bunning" to inspire a MEANING OF LIFE moment with our customers. Well, maybe not. After all, I'm in Eric Idle's position and would have to help clean up all the spew.